Congratulations, you've been duped

Sade's 'Smooth Operator' is playing in the neigborhood karaoke joint. The familiar "smooooth operay-tah..." drone of somebody bastardizing the song has been going on for sometime now. The singer's probably a middle-aged woman who took part in the 1986 People Power revolution and who worshipped Sade during the 80s. Not exactly a horrendous rendition, but it's obviously not from someone with an innate talent in singing. Pwede na.

Before Sade I heard several people cover artists like Bread, Tom Jones, Duran Duran and Cliff Richard in varying degrees of shrieks and attempts at actual singing. I'm no expert but even a first-grader would agree with me had he heard the same ruckus across the street. Even my one year-old son is making the same cringing expression everytime he's taking a major dump while standing. The Sade-singer is the most pleasant-sounding among the bunch.

There goes the obligatory "TAN-TANANAN-TAN-TAN-TAN-TAN-TAN-TANTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!"

Followed no doubt by that "CONGRATULATIONS! YOU ARE A PROFESSIONAL SINGER!" in bold brilliant letters.

Even video machines are good at the same oily politicking TRAPOS have mastered to dupe people into putting more money into their pockets. Or more 5-Peso coins into their coin slots.

Amazing how flattery and overlooking obvious flaws can manipulate people into doing what you want.

Oktoberfest 2008

6-September-2008
02:34:11

The view from our office in the 16th floor is relatively good. Wynsum building is one of the tallest buildings in the Ortigas area and is practically located in the middle of the business center overlooking most of the place. From our wing, you can see an unobstructed view of SM Megamall, the SAN MIGUEL fortress and part of the small watering holes within El Pueblo.

Of the three, the San Miguel compound has got to be the most arresting. Not only does it have the biggest compound in the area, but the building that looms within that enclosure has the strangest, most original architecture and appearance I have ever clapped my eyes on. The first time I saw it from an elevated vantage point, images of Incan/Mayan pyramids immediately came to mind. It's shaped like a pyramid all right, only slightly modified for practical purposes with a flat plane at the top that serves as a helipad. In short, it was a structure unlike any building found within the vicinity, or in Metro Manila for that matter. I guess its arresting appearance (for me, at least.) turned it into a kind of reference point for me whenever I'm in Ortigas.

A few days ago I noticed the roads surrounding the San Miguel compound were being lined with galvanized iron sheets that would serve as a perimeter boundary for an apparently early celebration of their much-anticipated Oktoberfest. I heard they were planning to make it in the Guinness Book world records to do the LONGEST BAR in the world. A little online investigation revealed these facts: The bar is 600 meters long with 200 bars stretching from San Miguel Avenue to St. Francis in Mandaluyong. The current title-holder is Taiwan at 240 meters.

A normal person would've been probably delighted at this recent development but I found myself indifferent towards it. Even annoyed, to be blunt. The first time I saw those iron sheets I knew I'm going to encounter a lot of inconvenience. I immediately asked around the office what it was for, as that location is very important for me because the FX PUVs I take when I go home from work are usually parked in Julia Vargas, a major street. If not, I have to walk all the way to Shaw Boulevard to take a jeep. It's not the long walk I have to do that I’m complaining about, in fact I welcome the exercise as a good diversion for my sedentary lifestyle, but the hazards in the Shaw-Crossing area is not something to be joked about, especially at night---the time I get off work. And I was right. As I got off earlier tonight, not an FX was in sight. I walked towards Shaw while Third Eye Blind, the guest band, worked the crowd into a frenzy. They were playing something I'm not familiar with (Semi-charmed life and How's it gonna be are about it.) and I couldn't care less. I was busy observing the cartoon characters littering the streets.

Why is it that when an event like this---be it Oktoberfest or Fete de La Musique---is launched, some people, especially the punk-punkans and goth-gothans as I call them, feel the compelling urge to parade the streets in droves with their most ridiculous outfits looking very badass and totally moronic, cause trouble, preen and heckle, and SIT. Not just sit, but sit far away from the main event and observe people like coked-out visitors from outer space visiting an alien outpost. And it's not like there's a shortage of space near the event; that at least I can understand. But...why bother?

I remembered when Fete De La Musique was held in Ortigas a few years ago, I observed several groups of young people all dressed in black (rakista daw sila e.) chasing each other with the intent to use each other’s heads as makeshift snare drums. For what? Angasan. That term is so deadly. And stupid. Many a frat/gang war erupted to apocalyptic proportions because of that and the very fragile macho ego of the average pinoy macho man. Everyone wants to be acknowledged for their so-called bravery and alpha male standing within the group. Now put that into perspective with a group of stupid young people who extol the virtues of sex, drugs and rock and roll and you'd have a bomb waiting to explode. Events with a combination of alcohol and bands with guitars---never mind if they’re playing Beach Boys tunes---attract these dregs like flies on shit. But the hilarious part is when they do show up, music is a distant second to strutting and loitering the streets like peacocks and were-bitches in heat.

What a crazy way to close a day.